Giving It Some

MONA PIZZA **EDIT

2011-09-01T08:17:00.001-07:00

I've been working on this project with BELLY KIDS for a while and I'm informed that the book is being printed up riight now, click here for the NME hype hype or here to pre-order. I will upload some more images when I see the finished product.Here's what my drawing looks like in the digital version of Loud and Quiet, if you see a physical one pick me up a copy, k thanks.

DRAWDOG

2011-07-02T05:04:00.000-07:00

Rawdog is back from his 10 month stint in Ecuador learning how to weave kayaks and internationally traffic drug profits. To celebrate I drew up this tattoo for him.

WELCOME BACK DAWG

VAMPIRES BE ALL EATIN BOOKS AN SHI

2011-02-24T04:27:00.000-08:00

KANYE ROLLINS

2011-02-23T07:58:00.000-08:00

Due to the popularity of the Kanye West t-shirt I drew a few posts ago (and when I say popularity perhaps I mean overwhelming disinterest) I decided to make a (very) limited run of Kanye West Black Flag mash up badges. Holla if you want one. They are £10 each.

EU MIXTAPE

2011-02-01T10:16:00.000-08:00

Gordon Brown (aka. Human Hands) and Silvio Burlusconi ( aka. Verme) have just released this split mixtape feat the trademark Dub Stomp of Brown and the god damn irresistable Raggatronics of Burlesconi . Nah just kidding, they some Dutty Midland Punx and some sophisticated Italianios, I drew the planet UK (minus Ireland for logistical reasons) and the galaxy of Italy (plus Sicily for selfish reasons).

Head here if you want one http://eatabookrecords.blogspot.com/

xx

STINKIN

2010-12-28T09:27:00.001-08:00

SOMETHING FROM SOMETHING

2010-12-27T06:17:00.000-08:00

Something from something I've been working on for a while, more info to come on that soon, it serves as a nice mental refreshment (distraction) from my ultra serious dissertation work.

DA WIRE

2010-12-15T05:52:00.000-08:00

Last night we watched the last two episodes of The Wire, seeing as I don't think any other blogs have ever praised The Wire I'll say my bit; it is the best thing evah. I'll try my best to keep my hyperbole to a minimum but there is now a void in my life that will never be filled by any woman, TV show, musician or past-time. In a feeble attempt to portray my gratitude to HBO and da boys, here is a drawing of Bunk, who killed it in every single episode from day one.

Goodbye Baltimore, its been a ting.

GEORGE BUSH DOESNT CARE ABOUT BLACK AND WHITE DRAWINGS

2010-12-04T14:44:00.001-08:00

A drawing to celebrate my week long infatuation with Kanye West, according to superstar illustrator/curator Kyle Dave Platts I really captured his jowls.

TAKE THAT EARTH!

2010-10-15T12:58:00.000-07:00

I've spent the last few months honing my skills on illustrator and working on this piece, I've been looking at alot of night club flyers and streetwear designers and trying to get some of that "East" into my work. I dont know if I succeeded really but I'm pretty happy with the final image; its entitled "Lets come together for the Earth because we're not made of ice caps".

Here is a video aswell. It features a guy both on and off a bike.

KAPPA DAT

2010-09-29T08:36:00.000-07:00

Earth Pain shell suits coming soon.

ANGRY ASS BIRDS

2010-09-29T07:50:00.000-07:00

I finished Angry Birds, I got three stars on every level and got a 30 bird killstreak.

HATE FLEX

2010-09-26T04:51:00.000-07:00

I just realised I havent updated my blog in about 3 weeks, to prove that I havent become lazy, here is a drawing that I did a while ago that I deemed not good enough to post at the time.

Bless the Internet Forum Hate Flex.

BAND NAME CASSETTE

2010-09-03T04:58:00.000-07:00

These are the finished tapes that I designed for EAB/Philadelphia's BAND NAME. They look pretty rad, stoked that I've finally used my obsessive boglin drawing for good not evil.

In other mild news, check out the DEATHOHHEFFBLOG if you want to read us chatting shit.

SKETCHBEERS

2010-08-17T14:45:00.001-07:00

Still drinking beer Since always until forever < 3.

THE MOST EVIL BEING EVER SPAWNED

2010-08-16T15:09:00.000-07:00

This is basically a repost but I shaded the evil critter in. It makes me shudder every time I look into those eyes, like staring into the very heart of all darkness. In the abyss.

BAND NAME CASSETTE TAPE

2010-07-23T03:45:00.000-07:00

These are the finalised designs for an EATABOOKRECORDS tape I'm working on, the tape should be done shortly. Though not if those damn boglins have anything to do with it.

EARTH PAIN FOUR

2010-06-23T03:33:00.000-07:00

So there it is, in all its obnoxious gratuitious glory, we had an official premiere for it at corsica studios, which is pretty funny, here are all the photos I took.

I only took one photo. It's of Josh. NICE ONE JOSH!

THREE BLOODY LIONS

2010-06-19T08:02:00.001-07:00

I'm going to keep my armchair punditry (armpitry) to a minimum, but BLOODY HELL....

A MOMENTUS MOMENT IN KIWI FOOTBALL

2010-06-15T06:29:00.000-07:00

I have got way too in to the World Cup this year. I have already racked up about ridiculous hours of match viewing and as far as I can remember I havent seen a game that wasn't a draw. I just watched New Zealand (78th in the Fifa Rankings) draw 1-1 with Slovakia (34th) in one of the most gloriously mediocre games I have ever seen and I enjoyed every minute. Also I have seen Noel Gallagher talk about his mate Del Piero 3 times in 2 days and seen John Travolta sing to Tim K-hole and the rest of the Socceroos.

In a celebration of this month I drew this picture of a Boglin coveting the trophy. The drawing wasn't based on any human man, but as I drew it it reminded me of someone that I just couldn't put my finger on. But then I realised that no real people look like this. . .

(Massive soz for all the links. )

EVEIL

2010-06-14T09:06:00.000-07:00

More drawings for the most heinous clothing company in the abyss, nah not really, just some kittens giving it some for satan.

BRODEM

2010-06-13T18:33:00.000-07:00

Happy 18th Birthday to my baby brother, this is a drawing of him now, but made to look like he will in 20 years once the wear of the world has worn him as it has me. May God have mercy on both our sens.

Garibaldi

2010-06-11T05:54:00.000-07:00

I'M AN OIL MAN

2010-06-08T09:34:00.001-07:00

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0469494/trivia

WAR IS HELL

2010-06-05T13:58:00.000-07:00

We've been playing alot of war recently and I've been in a constant state of harrowment for a while (I've pissing through an ACOG scope for a week now), the good thing is, the atrocities of war seem to provide a good background for Bro'ing down. COME ON ENGLAND.

FOOTBALLS CUPPING HOME

2010-06-01T07:34:00.001-07:00

I havent drawn much recently because I've been too busy slipping, I think this makes up for that, probably the best piece of merchandise I've ever bought, certainly the best thing ever sculpted. Hopefully Capello will see the light and get Gazza in the World Cup Squad. On a related note, Its 20 years since the best song ever was written, away the lads etc.

LADY GWARGARRGH

2010-05-13T10:52:00.000-07:00

ROBOT UNICORN SUPERDEATH

2010-05-06T09:36:00.000-07:00

ROBOT UNICORN ATTACK is a cheeky little bugger of a game, it sucks you in with the promise of fulfilling your dreams, then shoots you down in a blaze of flames when you're reactions are a split second too slow. At first I was pretty rubbish at it, in fact for a few months my below 10,000 scores would be the source of much mirth to my peers as well as the subject of awful nightmares. It was suggested by a friend after one particularly painful night that I should seek aid for my problem, he handed me a rainbow print business card with a phone number on the back. I rang straight away.

The voice on the end of the phone sounded like that of a broken man, yet there was something in his squeaks and coughs that I craved, it was truly the voice of a man who had grasped his dreams. He whispered motivational messages to me as well as technical tips. For example, it is much more beneficial to trigger Z and X with the middle fingers of one's hands than to use a single hand, or god forbid the index finger (LOL).
Slowly my scores began to increase, I advanced from a Beginner to an Amateur in my Sensei's eyes, I learned this was indicated by whether the game was played on Mute or not. (A Beginner plays with the music off, an Amateur can afford to play without the music, while Professionals and Experts play with the song blazing as loud as is possible). There was something hollow about this steady progression that I couldn't put my finger on , though I was getting more stars than ever I felt no closer to reaching my dreams. It dawned on me that maybe I never would.

Until I got this fucking wicked run.

Its so epic and ridiculous I heard that James Cameron is going to make a film of it. That will be sick right?

ABOUT YAY BIG...

2010-05-01T04:23:00.000-07:00

KRAFTY KAT

2010-04-27T06:38:00.000-07:00

I have the most heinous bruise I've ever seen on my hip which is giving me a funny limp and a general disdain for most things. Drawing this man falling off his bike has made me feel better.

EARTH PAIN THREE

2010-04-25T17:36:00.000-07:00

ANOTHER BLOGLIN POST? COOL!

2010-04-24T03:37:00.000-07:00

Earth Pain 3 is ready to drop, as soon as we find somewhere that can host it (youtube claimed it was too buttery ass, vimeo said there was too many hijinks), its pretty sick. Earth Pain 4 will start filming today.

High Grade Super Potent Blog Post

2010-04-18T17:08:00.000-07:00

CASWELL BERRY is the greatest white trash bro ever, here he is in a evil ass black frame.

A drawing of me and Sam, everyday I feel like Jesus fills our souls with love. I want this etched onto a plate to commemorate Earth Pain III, its going to be like Steez Code meets Hesh Law but not as Steezy or as Hesh.

LADY GWAR GWAR

2010-04-17T04:47:00.000-07:00

Lady Gwar Gwar is now flashing bits and writing hits for Earth Pain.STOKED.

THROWAWAY THATURDAYS

2010-04-10T12:25:00.000-07:00

This isn't misc enough so cant be included in Earth Pain 3, and they are just drawings, personally I wouldn't fancy my luck at either of these gaps. Give me the mega ramp or a curb any day.

I might slow down on the boglin posts now.

7INCH NAILS

2010-04-09T11:17:00.000-07:00

This is what the 7inches I designed for FYH, they looek pretty cooel. I think you can get one from here I believe. OR go to the release show at the Sunflower Lounge tomorrow.Radicool.

HESHLAW BLUMENTHAL

2010-04-05T09:24:00.001-07:00

So I pitched this show to channel 4, its about Heston Blumenthal's lesser famous brother Heshton who was a famous bowl rider back in the day. The long and short of it is that he's trying to get back in the game but keeps slamming hard every time he tries to get footage for Earth Pain. I have proposed that there will only be one joke per episode and it will always be based around eating shit.

*Update*
The people at Channel 4 have agreed to run a series of 6 episodes but they will only show it on Channel4+1, I see this as somewhat of a paradox but have reluctantly agreed.

*Update #2*
The people at Channel 4 have realised that the programme might be based on a single pun, they say they learnt their lesson from Osama Bin Everywhere and will no longer be running shows on the strength of their name. The series has been axed until further notice.

*Update #3*

Channel 4 say they noticed that in the image above he is wearing one hi-top and one lo-top and have offered Heshton a part in the next series of Skins. Alls well that ends well..

JAWS OF THE BASTARD

2010-04-04T11:58:00.000-07:00

Another thing I did for Capsule's Super High Tech Online Zine, for me the drawing is the embodiment of everything wrong about food culture and everything that is rad about sharks.

LADY GWOK DWOK

2010-04-03T16:31:00.000-07:00

This is not really a legit post (and I got a little link happy) but I feel like Katy Perry might be trying a little too hard to be edgy in this picture. I guess its the combo of blue hair, sex face, devil horns and suggestive gunge dripping everywhere. Pff, there is only one heinous spawn of Satan pop jewess for me and she never takes it too far.

*UPDATE,the picture has grown on me quite alot. Here it is immortalised in ink ( I have entitled it Gungey Bitch)

EARTH PAINS

2010-03-26T10:29:00.000-07:00

This is pretty much what happens every time I go skating/ a parable about Mongo and Boglins.

I push mongo as fast as I can and try and get my body into the most aerodynamic shape possible.
I then eat shit for some reason or other, lets say hitting a stone, or skidding on an oil slick.
EAT IT HARD.
Then my board falls into the greasy hands of a Boglin who then performs a few tricks and soaks my deck in his heinous stench.
He then snaps and eats my board because he cant stand mongo pushers. This happens to me every day.

SOME OF THIS IS NOT TRUE BUT IT IS ALL BASED ON FACT

KING OF MISC

2010-03-24T06:44:00.000-07:00

Some stuff that's been hanging around for a while, gathering dust, losing relevance and generally sucking pretty hard.

Incidentally I am heading back to Stratford today, i cant wait to see the real life embodiment of this drawing above in Bureau. HEY LOVE, THIS IS MY FAVOURITE CHASE AND RASCAL SONG CAN YOU WATCH MY VK'S WHILE I GO GET ROWDY CHEERS THANKS BYE.
BLOG OR DIE

THE ABYSS

2010-03-17T13:01:00.000-07:00

I was researching Google Street View for an essay and came across the Abyss.

Don't go there, its where Boglins live.

ALCOLOLISM

2010-03-08T09:32:00.001-08:00

Click the picture above to see some drawings I did for an article on High Percentage Alcohol. For the record I find a Kestrel goes particularly well with some cheap cigars, a game of cards and some Dre. But no, those days are well behind me, drunken regret coupled with a mouth like an ashtrays arsehole doesn't make for an enjoyable hangover. Its all about Holsten Pils and hungover sessions these days.

I haven't drawn anything in ages and have thus been caught slipping. Shit.

SWINE MERCH 2

2010-03-06T02:45:00.000-08:00

EAT A BOOK Tshirt . Comes in XXXL for Beefy Boys.

GREEBO WATERCOLOUR CHALLENGE

2010-02-22T11:09:00.000-08:00

This is the basis for the 7inch I'm designing for FYH, 4/5 of their songs on the release have swear words in the title and they are probably all going to hell.

YES I

YEAH I MADE A CAKE, SO?

2010-02-22T09:34:00.000-08:00

Screen shot of a drawing I did for Blade Runner Futuristic Super Online Zine Capsule , I have another one in the next issue that is of an equal level of gnar.

BLATANTLY SHOPPED

2010-02-14T07:53:00.000-08:00

This is going to be Sams pro deck when he gets onto Anti Hero.

SOMETHING HELLA JAZZY

2010-02-12T10:01:00.000-08:00

Potential T shirt designs for EAT A BOOK, The first one is pretty shit because i ran out of room to draw the organ, but he has the best steez I've ever drawn.

YES I

BRAINSTORM

2010-02-12T09:54:00.000-08:00

All my mates keep going on about how much they love brain, I don't really get it.

This one is part of my long running creative relationship with FYH/Eat A Book, I need to design a suitably gnarly 7" cover, something like this maybs. MY BLOGGER IS GOING MAD SO THIS IS A HYPERLINK. WHAT A MIND FUCK.

MINDBOOK

2010-02-10T09:43:00.000-08:00

The new facebook homepage is a complete mindfuck, although when ive got my free AIR MAC i'll be able to view it on Safari and it will all be bless.

BLOG POST (SKREAM REMIX)

2010-02-10T08:55:00.001-08:00

"Hey man theres an eviction party five minutes away in a mansion tonight with free beers and brain on tap."
"That sounds sick lets have a look"
"Oh hang on, it says there is DJs all night"

"Shit... what are they playing?"

"....Oh Shit... looks like we're gonna have to stay in and peel eachothers skin off after all"

Nice one for ruining partys forever Dubstep.

CATHARSIS LOLS

2010-02-07T10:45:00.001-08:00

Anyone who has hung out with me in the past few months will know that I've not been quite myself, I have been frequently having panic attacks and have been off my food pretty bad. There has been something weighing on my mind with such dense potency that I have barely been able to sleep or even leave my bed. I have spoken to FRANK and my College Counsellor and neither of them knew what to do, I considered turning to Islam but after reading the Quran front to back it left me more bewildered than before, and that is pretty fucking bewildered.

It dawned on me in the past few days that there was really only one thing that I could do, and that was to tackle my demons head on. There is only so long that a person can feel sorry for themselves for before it gets a little self indulgent, in my case I stretched this out for about 6 weeks longer than is generally considered acceptable. I spent hours and hours compiling lists about why what happened wasn't my fault. Ultimately I was fooling myself.

After filing for extenuating circumstances for my next assessment at HELLSMERE SCHOOL OF ART AND CRIME I chose to lock myself in my room with a pen and paper with no exit until I had made my wrongs right..

I have found it easier to talk about in recent days, though I am still more comfortable putting my thoughts in writing . I can think of only a few moments in my life where I have reflected on my actions and been shocked and appalled, it really made me question everything...

The moment in question I am referring to happened on the 18th of January I believe, I was asked by a good friend to draw Captain Richard Sharpe and what flowed from my pen was not the rugged northern charms of one of television's finest characters but the liquid shit of Satan himself. There are to be no excuses for what I drew that night and I apologise to everyone who has had to see the image in question. I have decided against destroying the heinous portrait for reasons maybe only I can truly understand, after all, if it ever got out into the outside world I would surely suffer much trepidation at the hands of my peers and the rest of the world. I would at least lose my sponsorship from Daler Rowney.

So it is today that I can finally present my first drawing of Sharpe that doesn't make me want to gouge my eyes out, flatten them onto the soles of my shoe and stamp repeatedly on my nerve endings until all feeling has gone all the while being repeatedly hung until dead.

Maybe I wont burn in hell for all eternity after all.

Actually that ones pretty shit too.

SILLY DRAWINGS FOR GMAM

2010-02-05T11:28:00.001-08:00

My good friend Guy does a real course in Sound Engineering where you learn about real things, like how Reverb is another word for distortion and the difference between valve amplification and other sorts (there isnt one). He asked me to do some drawings to liven up one of his presentations about Bass Acoustics or something (which is odd because you cant get acoustic basses :P) so I did these whilst a few G&Ts down..

MEGALOLS

SWINE MERCH

2010-01-29T11:37:00.000-08:00

These are some patches that Chaz got screenprinted that I designed. Yeah its a Wookie, SO? FYH have new songs up too, have a look. I'm going to sew one of these bad boys on my leather jacket ASAP.

In other news I just completely forgot about my coffee and now its fucking cold, NICE ONE BLOGGING.

JOEBALLS is 21!

2010-01-28T10:40:00.000-08:00

I took a short course in Traditional Venetian Portrait Painting at the Slade and this was what I produced. Nah but seriously, well done on being 21 Joe, how on earth did we get this OOLD.

ECLETCIVE

2010-01-21T09:20:00.000-08:00

This is the front cover of a book I made for my elective, we had to do Little Red Riding Hood, which pretty much sucked but I made it rad by including a cameo from Lady Gaga and gratuitous disembowelment scenes. Its like 90 pages long and I've been told its a harrowing read. Thank God.

MY BIG STUPID BROTHER IN THE BIG STUPID SNOW

2010-01-17T03:58:00.000-08:00

A PICTURE OF MY DOG DRINKING THE MOST BEER

2010-01-14T03:59:00.000-08:00

LIKE SEEING JESUS IN TOAST

2010-01-14T03:57:00.000-08:00

I LOVE (taking creepy photos of) MY MATES

2010-01-12T09:37:00.000-08:00

HAMMSTER HATEMAIL

2010-01-09T07:39:00.000-08:00

"I find within this image enough cultural poignancy to counteract the chronic lack of technical effort or skill."

NEW YEARS REDEEMER BASIC MS PAINT GARM BASED POST

2010-01-06T08:23:00.001-08:00

Basically this is based on a true story of some of my mates that hit the sales.

"I bought this tshirt, not realising that it would transport my torso into a watery abyss.."
"I got this Tshirt from matalan, but when I put it on I realised that it led to a Black hole"
"I got this matching t shirt, cap and dog anorak earlier not realising that they all contained little portals into a nuclear armageddon"

Get well soon everyone.

NEW YEARS COP OUT TEXT BASED POST

2010-01-06T08:06:00.000-08:00

Yes I do.
Yes it does.

Happy New Years.

TIS THE SEASON

2009-12-24T12:33:00.001-08:00

I think Christmas is great, everyday I've been eating myself a few years closer to diabetes and it seems more acceptable to drink decadent/ridiculous alcoholic drinks every night in the season of Yule. I think maybe this year its cooler to like XMAS than to be jaded by it. I think even VICE said it was a DO this year and did a whole article about Nativity Garms..

These are the XMAS BEARS, they live in the north pole and have only read about xmas in Argos catalogues and emails, they dont really know what it is but they are both agreed that they really like it. It makes the harsh winter months of searching for human flesh in the Arctic abyss that bit more bearable.

This is how christmas felt to me as a child (I'm on the right).

The XMAS BEARS, killing it (or completely missing the point).

HAPPY XMO

xxEFF

FACEBOOK AS PERFORMANCE ART

2009-12-21T10:25:00.000-08:00

GOD BLESS THE ABYSS
xx

TAPESTAPESSTAPESPATES

2009-12-17T06:15:00.000-08:00

This is a design I did for EAT A BOOK RECORDS, a record company that I co-founded with the intention of doing nothing. In the end I did even less than that until I designed this for a split tape that Chaz is doing. I formulated this design having not listened to any of the music, I imagine it all sounds like Danzig.

HELLSMERE SCHOOL OF ART AND CRIME

2009-12-07T09:30:00.000-08:00

I recently enrolled in a Drawing BA at Hellsmere School of Art, the course is quite intense ( I have to do pretty much 7.30pm to 2.00am everyday, and the enrollment initiation was something quite distressing involving an aggressive plastic rat that I don't wish to talk about) but I feel I'm settling in ok. The first brief was to design a tattoo that I will have to get on my ankle if I step out of line again.
Non-Gay Love (formerly known as bromance) is a big part of the Hellsmere ethos and if ever a students love for their mates is put under question they have to shotgun a high percentage premium to show their love is fo real. I However will never have that problem and during our life drawing class (drawing from a real life book) I chose this pose and caption as it indicates the pressure I felt under at the time whilst also remembering that it is love that has the world in motion...

This is the culmination of my first term and also one of my first collaborative pieces with Fam Pallet Taylor, though we are encouraged to come up with multiple metaphorical meanings (or multi metis) for our work I instead decided to come up with a powerful image about how religion is essentially about Jesus loving his mates until he is crucified into the abyss because one of his mates was a bastard.

I look forward to my next term where I will be having lectures on "the Grotesque and the Sublime" from Kyle Dave Platts and "How to be a Modern Urban Boy" by T slates.
xx

SINGING LIKE ANGELS. LOOKING LIKE PRICKS

2009-12-07T09:18:00.000-08:00

This is a drawing I did of me and my band pals on stage. This is somewhere in the middle of Le Sur Mer, probably the line about John Terry.
xx

GNARPOCAYLPSE

2009-12-05T07:18:00.000-08:00

This Wednesday was the Square One premiere and it was the most insane thing thats happened ever. We all went to hell and back and didnt come back, powerwalked into the abyss, stared death in the eye and other sorts of elaborate ridiculous things like that. Needless to say this was the only thing I could produce the day after. Roll on Square One Two..

ONE DRAWING FOR GARY TRENT

2009-11-19T10:08:00.000-08:00

FUCK MY HAIRCUT

2009-11-15T10:31:00.000-08:00

More for FYH, knowing that the band are fans of star wars and football brutality i decided to go for the obvious; Chewbacca in a flip peak and a diagram of the Eduardo leg break.

CGT

2009-11-07T06:02:00.001-08:00

I think i really managed to capture the image of "A CAT" in this one. Props to me.

THANKS Señor P

2009-11-02T13:56:00.001-08:00

One weekend i borrowed Tom Slaters bed, board, bike and shoes in one 24 hours so i drew him this as a thanks. He wont let me borrow his beard, not even for partying.

ROURKE AND ROLL

2009-11-01T05:52:00.000-08:00

A little something for a friends band possibly, the brief i was given basically asked for a fake KyleDavePlatts but i think ive kept the ripping off to a minimum. Anyways, im only posting this so i can show it to chaz. So keep it real.

WRS&WSM

2009-10-28T06:15:00.001-07:00

The words and wisdom of Sam Taylor. I am going to have this tattooed on my back.

xx

FNRT

2009-10-28T06:08:00.000-07:00

Ive decided to become a Georgie Two Blogs, the other one will be for my fine art shit, somewhat of an online portfolio. I feel like having my drawings of golden bastards and my super conceptual amazing paintings of nothings together devalues one or other of them... This picture will link yous to it, its called Gocolour and i stole the ILFORD typeface, STOKED!
xx

KRPV

2009-10-28T05:49:00.000-07:00

I like totally have the internet now so here are some things that i have made exist in the past few weeks.
Half empty or half full? Or a little over half full? It only costs £1 so who cares, down it Karpov.

This is a drawing of a bloody golden bastard i saw on a bench, as you can see i'm quite into my photorealism these days.

One of the best dogs I know.

A kitten sees an ex lover across the aisle, for a moment the hole in his life is gone, he will later fill this void with two beers and an Iams binge.

I cant believe no one wants to save pandas anymore. Look at them! (not so much the little one).

BOWL RAT

IN CHRONIC PRAISE OF : AKON

2009-09-07T12:22:00.000-07:00

Whilst rolling in my six-four this summer I have been continually impressed by the standard of the radio1 A-list. While I cant really convincingly claim that I have much love for Pitbull and his attempt to unite the world with his multi cultural "1 2 3 4 " followed by "1 2 3 4" in Spanish, a la Sesame Street. My favourite line from this song (which is probably worthy of a whole blog on it's own) is;

"Mami got an ass like a donkey, with a monkey Look like King Kong"
Pitbull 2009

Black Eyed Peas have once again upped their game, a song that fits the brief "SUMMER ANTHEM" so precisely I have to wonder why it isn't on repeat on Radio1 all day erryday, admittedly the song loses its way towards the end (NO ONE GOES OUT ON SATURDAYS REALLY, ESPECIALLY NOT ENOUGH TO NECESSITATE SINGING IT TWICE??).
I guess I'm going to have to give some props to Dizzee Rascal for the most unashamedly try-hard song of the summer, if not ever. In fact Dizzee lad in his quest to make the cheeky-chappiest feel goodest sunburnt club banger of the summer which is literally the musical equivalent of a Club Rep stealing all the VK Blues and corrupting young lasses.
But without doubt the standout radio moment of the summer comes (as ever) from AKON, RnB's most ridiculous lad.

"I'm tryna find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful "

These are definitely the words of a man with his heart in the right place, a man who can't help but do the completely wrong thing, a man ladies and gentlemen who we need in our lives and hearts forever. He then follows this noble statement (and by follow, i mean in the same bloody breath) with;

"The way that booty movin' I can't take no more"

At least we know he's tryna find the words, but that however is what youtube would call a FAIL. I think anyone who has seen that video (i dont really want to link to it..) of Akon dry humping that 15yr old girl on stage to within an inch of her life will understand why this song was probably needed, and it is delivered with such style. The most half arsed apology of all time, I think the drumbeat is even one of the worst ever. The general jist of this apology is

"yeah sorry, but really it wasnt my fault, and that bitch had it coming anyway"

Thats not a quote, this is though:

"I'm sorry for the hand that she was dealt
For the embarrassment that she felt
Just a little young girl trying to have fun
Her daddy should never let her out that young
I'm sorry for Club Zen getting shut down
I hope they manage better next time around
How was I to know she was underage
Enter 21 you know the club they say"

Theres so much gold in here that i cant really go into it, in fact, i'll probably write my dissertation on that very stanza. A line dissing a clubs bloody management style? It does not get any better than that. How were you to know AKON? theres no possible way, If she was over 21 this would have been fine. Shit, she would have been bloody lucky to get the hand "she was dealt". THUS i feel this song is the ultimate manpology:

Manpology:
NOUN
A way of apologising, most often to a woman in a way that accepts no responsibility for the act that one is apologising for, possibly even trying to pass the blame onto the recipient of the apology.

This also makes Akon in someways the ultimate man, and it is only fitting that I close this celebration of him with some of his own words.

"Damn girl
Damn you'se a sexy bitch
A sexy bitch
Damn you'se a sexy bitch
Damn girl"

Damn indeed Akon, Damn indeed.

xx

TH WR 2

2009-08-28T05:12:00.001-07:00

Another installment from my children's adaptation of "Obama's favourite show" The Wire.

Season 2 Episode 1: Bodie and the corner boizz make an unlikely new friend and in doing so learn the value of trust and honesty.
"Hey, are you guys heading to the Old Blue later? Smokin' Flange are playing?"

2009-08-27T12:40:00.000-07:00

Here is some things what I done;

I'm currently watching a programme about women who love cats called Pussies Galore, its a classic bit of Channel4 psuedo-documentary film making.I say fair do's to them, if I ever get tricked into fathering a family im going to have to look at means of escapism too. I bet it'll be train sets though.

This was drawn from a picture of a giraffe running, which is one of the most bloody ridiculous pieces of imagery i've ever seen all folded up limbs and long ass neck. In fact, i'd suggest you googled "running giraffe" rather than look at this slightly shitty drawing I've done, in which I failed to draw the body of the giraffe because I started drawing too close to the edge of the page. THEY DONT TEACH YOU SHIT IN THESE ART SCHOOLS.

BRAINS

These triangle headed bastards have been rearing their pathetic faces in my drawings for a while now, I can only apologise, I cant even remember where i stole them from. Cheery Bastards

Here they are again, ridiculous.

CRDCRN

2009-08-16T07:18:00.000-07:00

I did this drawing for the front cover of a double compilation CD of songs about the credit crunch, its called "FUCK THE CRUNCH: Songs by the people", features the new Enemy single (For The Lads) and retails at a C-C busting £18.45!

RUT

2009-08-16T06:10:00.001-07:00

The fruits of a creative rut; Hey draw some things and colour them in like this!
THATS A BLOODY INCREDIBLE IDEA! ugh.

COLA

2009-07-25T08:38:00.000-07:00

I think that the new Coca Cola advert is one of my favourite pieces of film of all time, I'm not sure how well that would go down within Fine Art circles, in fact the chances of me coming across as a simpleton seem pretty high. But I think its awesome, despite the loathsome Calvin Harris being in charge of the soundtrack and all the mega global corporate capitalist bullshit that I'm sure could taint some people's perception of the Coca Cola brand. The new Pepsi advert is alright aswell, in an American Pieco kind of way, but it just makes me want a coke..
This paragraph has reminded me why I dont write more.

TH WRE

2009-07-23T15:30:00.001-07:00

An illustration I have done for a children's adaptation of gritty American drama The Wire. Chapter One, in which Barksdale learns to share.

BNDWTH

2009-07-23T15:09:00.000-07:00

Holla and Greetings.
Here are some more drawings (on varying levels of goodness and finishedness) from my book, apparently i have surpassed my internet bandwidth already so I am severely sticking it to the man just by posting this.

Ambassador, Ambabsadolutedly, Ambadsalutedly, Ambasolutely,Absolutely.

A bit of a collab between myself and Guy James Mam. ARR EYE PEE EMM JAY.

Fathership.

This is my idea for a film where a news reporter (in the blue) gets transferred to a sports channel where he has to report only on table sports (bar snooker/pool) but when he turns his hand to the games he discovers he has great talent. He becomes a professional but loses it all when his wife leaves him and he turns to drugs. I imagine it will probably star Will Ferrel, Adam Sandler and Morgan Spurlock (or Freeman). It will also be set in the past.

A return to my forte.

TOUR DE FRUCKING FRANCE. ( I will colour this in at some point)

Puppy Love (...her new ride)

Im going to maybe upload more individual drawings rather than them all at once, it makes more sense i think.

WHTSPC

2009-07-14T06:46:00.000-07:00

I'm nearly TWENTY BLOODY YEARS OLD, which has brought on somewhat of a mid-life/milestone crisis here are some drawings that either encompass, or have nothing to do with it at all.

RENAISSANCE ILLUSTRATION

Excerpt from a graphic novel i started about a man who realises his girlfriend is a slug, but then doesnt mind in the end because love conquers all and she has a cracking personality. Fingers crossed for a publisher!!!!!

A RAD NOBLE STEED

Rad xx

SMR

2009-06-27T11:08:00.000-07:00

My summer has officialy begun, in that today I sat in my room for hours trying to do as little movement as possible to minimize sweating. WHAT A LIFE I LEAD.

This one is an illustrated transcript of a whole conversation i had with Sam at 2.17 in the morning when we were hyped up on man films. (I'm on the right)

My two favourite violence glamourisers, Hulk Hogan and Danny Dyer. (If you are confused by the lack of likeness it's because thats not actually who they were meant to be. Having an Artists Licence includes lying for sure)

I'm going to make a playstation game when I'm older called Pro Evolution Drawing, you will have to do drawings of famous footballers but so that they look like other famous footballers, I have tried this on the right of the page, drawing Michael Carrick as Christiano Ronaldo.

THIS IS MY POLITICAL DRAWING BECAUSE I DREW IT FROM A NEWSPAPER.

I guess this is pretty political drawing, based on the old proverb: you can take a bear to water, but you cant make it carry all your shit around.

Train drawings, I am going to get the heelflip one tattooed around my wrist.

Train Drawing featuring a collab with Joseph Goody, he did a picture of me "blazin a zoot", he does go Goldsmiths after all.

A Triptych of my three favourite pastimes, holding wildlife, weight lifting and smoking with one hand down my trousers.

Another Triptych, of more of my favourite past times (L-R); Looking at my watch when i really mean to check my phone and being slightly confused, being disillusioned by all music and subconciously copying other peoples stances.

There is an edited version on www.myspace.com/deathohheff

xx

MR BD SC

2009-06-07T05:18:00.000-07:00

I've finished my course for the year, yeah, one godamn third of my university course is over, the next time this happens I will be in 3rd Year, which is utterly pretty quite scary. NO MORE LIVING THE DREAM IN YEAR THREE. Or so I've been told.

I have it all here on RED

BLUE

GREEN

That was pretty much a visual onslaught of out of focus pictures, which i apologise for again, my scanner is like scanning a stain glass window through frosted glass. So heres a light interlude of my pissing about drawings, I used a free magazine for the paper, which is probably exactly what they had in mind when they decided to put a load of time, money and effort into creating a product. "Wouldn't it be good if someone picked up one of these, didn't read it and then cut up the pages and did juvenile drawings on it instead!?" So basically what I'm saying is, whatever these bitches put into their magazine is less interesting than something i knock up in about 5 minutes. Daily.

BACK TO BUSINESS:
I basically had to set my work up for assessment and then we had some miniature show where there were drinks fo free, (ish) and lots of work up, ranging from the good to the shit, via average, i like to think mine sits somewhere between the three, somewhere around average I guess. I wasnt entirely stoked on my work, but worse things have happened.

This is the set up for my pictures in the exhibition, they are both 4ft wide and several buses tall.

This is a photo of some bros hating on my work.

Me engaging with my work. (IMAGE COURTESY OF SAM TAYLOR)

This is what my room looks like now I've taken my work home, which took 4 buses, 4 trains and 2 trams. Each with people staring at my work and going " Bloody hell mate! you want to control your pallete a bit!!!!??!!" or "Your rationale is not visible through this painting alone! Give me an artist statement and a list of your inspiration!!" Of course I obided.

Its photos like these that suggest that photoshop is maybe quite useful. If you can read past the grey hue of the image, the slanted edges of the mirror on the painting is what i was trying to get, maybe i will try using some mirrors in my work in the future, at least it will be easy access for something to cut my wrists with (vertically) if it doesnt look good.

This blog will probably become more frequently updated during the summer as I will possibly have more free time than there are hours in the day. Look forward to it?

BD SC

2009-05-18T13:51:00.000-07:00

Ive been doing alot of drawing trying to fill my sketchbook before my assessment, here is some of them.

Compulsory use of tree imagery. YES!

Sorry about the quality of the scans, I'm too badass to give a shit about things like that.

LSRTS

2009-04-10T10:41:00.000-07:00

Alright then, heres some of my work from my Painting Course, these are terrible photos, because I havent had a Photo Documentation Induction, no of course I have, but my camera is mounted inside my phone and is pretty poor. SOZZ. But this is how I get down.

This is from my sketchbook, I tried to add people into my paintings but it hasnt really worked thus far, although the awkwardness of it is pretty good. My Drawings are usually better than my paintings. "WELL THEY COULDNT BE WORSE COULD THEY" huhh?

This is a drawing I did in my studio of mount everest, I decided to belittle it, because nothing needs to be that big. Apparently there are about 120 corpses (not pictured) on it. And the youngest person to ever climb it was 15, I wont print his name because I'm sure he's a terrible person, bullying kids like me at 9, playing rugby at 13, climbing mountains at 15, wife and kids at 20 etc. I'd much rather do nothing with my life than any of that bullshit.

Heres a photo of my studio space as it is at the moment. Im trying to think of something to say other than, THIS IS WHERE THE MAGIC HAPPENS, because if I said that, MAGIC would mean nursing a hangover (and telling my friends how drunk and cool I was the night before), waiting for lunch, being slightly antisocial and abusive and making a mess.

Nah im kidding, im a terrific student and a well rounded young man.

I did this on the macs at college, further proof that macs arent very good. I took a photo of the image on the monitor. Yes, I've gone technology mental.

This is a work in progress, I'm putting the photo up now because I will probably ruin it shortly.

I painted this on the wall next to my desk (DRAWING ON THE WALL MAKES ME FEEL LIKE NU-RENAISSANCE ARTIST, BETTER-THAN-GOD GOD, BANKSY) to remind me to do work, I like to think of it as my version of a motivational poster,I have a similar one in my room that says DO MORE ART BITCH, because that is far too risque for the studio. So yeah, some people have religion as something to turn to, i have semi offensive crappy drawings.

Halle fucking lujah.

This is another angle of my studio, another work in progress at the top, "SO WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?", if you really want to know i will send you an artist statement and a clip round the ear.

And this is an emo drawing i did for a laugh, he's drawn inside out but all in all a good lad.

TOP8

2009-03-29T10:40:00.001-07:00

These are some drawings of some people, they vary in levels of existence from existing a bit, to not at all.This guy has a suitcase but no neck, a questionable swap..

When this boy told his friends he was going to start wearing these glasses as a way to get girls they all laughed, but now he has his own record label and over 300 friends on facebook.

This is the kind of boys that most of the girls in Stratford-upon-Avon go for, people with necks wider than their heads, holes in their eyebrows and modern buzzword slogans on their clothes. I made up a game once (which obviously I've never played) where you go up to one of these people and question them on the words on their t-shirt/jumper mean. eg. "Oh so you are part of the 134 Co-op Response Team for Alabama?" or "Did you enjoy the Surfs-Up 1974 Miami Beach Festival?".To which the response would either be a quick "Fuck Off" or a " Its just a t-shirt mate, lighten up". This probably comes across like I'm being a dick. Um.

This is Jean-Pierre, he has a cat instead of a brain now thats why in this polaroid he is waving down a bus and not driving his scooter to work like he used to.

This is my golf caddy, he's a huge racist, but he's good at carrying. Swings and Roundabouts I guess.

I met this man on a tram, he had a 6 pack of Stella and an Umbro tattoo.

This is a drawing of a man from one of my favourite bands this century. I think he was voted best person ever in a recent poll, though thinking back that was almost definitely any other person.

This is one of my bros, we like to visit synagogues together, the best of which are in Cyprus, he's writing a book about them in fact, he's looking for a publisher, which is apparently like looking for "hay, in a stack of other things". I guess he means its not that difficult, he did tell me once how his head got like that but I think I interrupted with something more interesting.

This drawing on the surface is pretty lame, so i've decided that they are making some kind of drugs deal rather than sharing a moment of affection. Good call.

Sorry if this all got a little whimsical, or self indulgant, actually fuck it, its a blog yo.

TLW

2009-03-26T06:15:00.001-07:00

These are some things from my NYC sketchbook, which is becoming less and less about NYC by the day, but i can deal with that. I may have mentioned that i took some photos, which werent very good, probably because i'm a pretty chronic photographer. So i cut them up into little bubbles, my thinking being that if i removed whatever it was that i was trying to photograph in the first place i might be left with something more interesting. Fuck knows if it worked, maybe i just ruined my prints...

The bottom left is central park, i think i did a good job of making it look like a horrible place to be when it is actually quite pleasant. I might do more of these...

In other news i thought my ipod had broken the other day, but this morning it is back and better than ever, with a staggering 2 hours of battery time and 3.6GB of memory. Sick. I've been listening to this song too much and its been making me think i'm depressed even though im pretty damn content:

I even did this drawing as a result.

Thats obviously a joke. But seriously.

xx

FD

2009-03-23T09:53:00.000-07:00

Heres some things i did on Foundation, some of it was alright. Its all about landscapes.
On reflection these photos are really drab, apologies for that, maybe there are some real colours in there, who knows.

This is the biggest canvas i've ever done, impractically big, probably 6.5' by 4'. I left it at college, which was stupid i guess, but i cant even fit it in a car. This was probably the basis for my severe dislike of canvas.

And this is on a map, which was very conviniently foldable into a A5 size, take that canvas.

This is a portrait of my insides. Nah, i wish, its a selection of fine meats.

I will post some new work up when i do something at least a bit good.

INSP

2009-03-22T17:33:00.001-07:00

Im thinking of actually revealing this blog at some point... so i might put some things up that i love to detract attention from my own work. Why not eh?

A bit of Twombly, just really ugly and beautiful.

Matthias Weishcer.

Daniel Richter, better than Gerhard possibly??? Im a big fan of artists bridging the gap between illustrative and painting styles, so this is dope.

Richard Diebenkorn. Lovely abstraction.

Howard Hodgkin: Initially a bit of a slow burner, but now i just think he's amazing. This is the kind of painting i dont think theres even any point in me attempting because there are people who are so bloody good at it already. Its a bit like why i dont understand bands trying to be joy division.

I also like the girls that every 19 year old art school boys like, as much as i'd like to be original in my desires the classics still keep coming back (i'm currently wondering why anyone would care about this, but i'll keep on)

This is probably my favourite image of all time. Predictable as you like.

And again, very predictable, but I cant help it, it must be somewhere in my chromosomes, also i stole this picture from someone elses blog, now i dont know much about blog etiquette but im guessing this is frowned upon...

Thats enough of that.

I like different types of tape aswell, i used to have a nice tower of it in my room but it was inpractical and got knocked over.

Also i'm quite enjoying this small painting i did (i have turned it on its side so it doesnt just look like an advert, which maybe it is) i like gold and red.

Maybe I dont love all of these things, in fact maybe I don't love any of them, love is quite a strong word for someone as indecisive as me. Im talking myself out of this whole post now.
Anyway, im pretty damn sure i love drawing, radiohead and pro evo.

Now im not even sure of that, its too late for this kind of thing, im going to bed.

P.S. Guy pointed out to me that basically what i have written is "this painting makes me wet", worth a mention i thought.

A SIX

2009-03-05T10:22:00.000-08:00

Hi, I went to New York with school last week, it was sick, these are some drawings i did (mostly on the plane and in the airport because i was too busy being a huge-size tourist the rest of the time). Here is a list of things i didnt see/do properly;

The Empire State Building (i saw it, and it is actually pretty big)

The Statue Of Liberty (i saw it, from afar, its pretty regal i guess)

New York Babes (i saw about two, and they were probably English anyway)

Get royally NYC style drunk (despite the massive portions of beer they sell im too underaged and baby faced for that kind of thing)

Macys ( i didnt go to NY to shop, i went to learn all about different cultures)

I did some things though yo, i'll get on to that after this pictorial interlude..

Presidential Leaves.

I like these slight drawings i did from the plane, I had the window seat, but no entertainments on the way there, but im a mother fucking art student, i make my own entertainments.

Biometric, read it and weep.

Drunk Lincoln

Altitude gets you steamed. Thats not strictly true, but it is pretty cool getting free G&Ts at however many thousand feet then flushing the lemon down the super intense plane flush system. Someone told me that they freeze all of that into a cube and drop it into the sea. What a joker.

So Yeah, that was a productive time wasn't it? I also have shit loads of flyers and paraphenalia

Things i did do in NYC;

I went to see the New York City Basketball Team The New York Knicks, it was rad, i now have massive hoop dreams...

I had big style New York City breakfast, the best ive ever had, served by people who would definitely kill you if they werent too busy bringing you free coffee.

I went on the metro, (like the tube only shit) and got in a yellow taxi cab, it had a television in the back, like star trek or something.

I picked up the unnattractive term "douche bag" which i am still trying to shake off.

I saw some art, i think i can almost justifiably call it life affirming.

I also have some photos, but exactly 50% of them didnt come out, and i swear most of the ones that did were just me using up the film. Still, thats what you get for going disposable, which is what you get for choosing toys over cameras at birthdays, which in turn is what you get for refusing to grow up.

Which leads me neatly on to my next feature, i had a lecture today, probably one of the best i've ever had, but i still failed to make any decent notes, instead this is what i did;

I did manage to jot down "horses for courses" which is one of those things that sounds so good that i dont really want to find out exactly what it means. I cannot think of any other examples..

Oh dear.
One of these days i will upload something to show that i do actually do a painting course.

This is quite a big post, it took several weeks in the making, thanks to everyone who actually makes good blogs for inspiring me to press on. And sorry to everyone who visited this expecting something coherent or good.

F

2009-02-13T10:14:00.000-08:00

Oh hey, this is my blog now.
As Something of an icebreaker heres some drawings i did in the summer/fall season of the 2008, then we can ruin all the ice we've broken by being our true selves.

This is a crab and a reduced price sticker, i like the juxtaposition of crab and reduced sticker in this one.

These are some designs for a new range of tall menswear i am working on, i got the material from woolworths before it went fully bust. Maybe i should have bought more.

Geometry and Violence.

Raven Bastard.

Ohh & Eff

I don't know what it is about triangles that are so good. They just rock out in a way that most shapes don't. Maybe its because of their "vaginal quality", which by the way is the best thing anyone has ever said in a crit. It beats "look at my triangles" anyway.

This was a highly political drawing i did when i was offered a £2750 overdraft, as if i wasnt going to be in debt enough as it is, but seriously, it is free money.

www.myspace.com/deathohheff im in a band, i shred the cello.

I dont like putting writing in my work, which is weird, as im so amazingly articulate, but this is an exception, check this out, he wants to die because of all his sunburns.

That'll do for now, i'm not just going to put up drawings, i might even put up some fine arts soon,

maybe as soon as i do something that i dont majorly detest.